What's been going down

The weekend was not as relaxed and happy as I could hope for when I had nothing planned. One main issue was that O got sick and I've had 3 restless nights as he snarfed and honked all night. I gave up in the early hours of Sunday and went to sleep on the couch, but then woke up incredibly stiff and with a headache. I made up for it later by taking a wonderful hour-long nap, in bed, where I was warm and very comfy. Last night didn't go so well again, though part of it was myself being unable to get comfortable, but it particularly sucked because not only was it Monday morning, but it was a Monday morning where we had to get up early because people were coming to paint our water-damaged wall (last fall water was leaking in all the way from the top of the building, seeping somehow into the brick of the front wall and leaking into at least the top 3 houses of our building). We at least made a deal for them to come at 8:30, not 7:30 like they wanted to, but it still meant needing to get up earlier than normal. Then the guy who showed up said he was just meant to paint the damaged area, and our walls apparently aren't white, but they have a tinge of blue, but he said he'd try to blend his white paint into it. O was like "nonono, the deal was that you're supposed to paint one whole wall of the living room and also the ceiling" (because of some tiny amount of damage up there). The painter was like "this is what I was told" and then O said "well, the landlord is coming by in about an hour and she made the arrangements so she can discuss it with you." The painters voice fell a bit and he said with the slightest bit of agitation "oh, is the landlord a woman? Yeah, we've talked to her about what's to be done..." like you could just feel how happy he was to hear that she was actually coming by to check his work (our landload is the best ever and is totally someone who gets what she wants). But the painter got on with his job, I left for work, and a few hours later we got word from our landlord that he was done, and yes, he had done the full wall, ceiling, and even the door. Oooh. But yay, because of course we had to squish things together in the living room and move some of it to the bedroom and it will be nice to have everything put back in its place. And to not have to get up early again tomorrow.

Another difficult thing about this weekend is that I've been quite depressed after stopping with the pills I was taking. I've been off them a month, which I'm pretty proud of, that's twice as long as I managed to go off pills a few years ago, but it's not been good the past few days. I cry at everything and my ability to get any thing done has mostly disappeared. I noticed that at work at the end of last week, how it felt physically painful to have to buck up and dig into the small amount of work I had to do. Then in the weekend I would think about things that had to be done and have this feeling of dread. Actually, it's more like I felt like a little kid who wanted to throw a tantrum at having to do something I didn't want to do. I managed to not actually throw a tantrum, but inside I felt like it. On Sunday I had the plan to go into town to have lunch on my own mostly because I really felt like I needed to get out of the house, that I've been too much of a couch potato lately. But then I just couldn't go, but I wanted to still, and I just couldn't decide, I was standing there just unable to make a choice one way or the other. Part of me was like "get out, be around some people, even if they're strangers, enjoy the sunny day, walk a bit", but the other part was all "I cannot be bothered to tram into town just for lunch and then tram back and it's not worth it." It sounds so stupid to write about, but I was so torn by this one little thing, like one second feeling totally cabin feverish and needing to get out, and the next feeling bogged down by the idea of eating lunch out. In the end I did a bit of a compromise. I didn't go out for lunch, but I did at least go out, later, for a walk around the park across from our house. And that was good. It was sunny and a lot of people were also enjoying the sun and I got some walking done. But this is the stupid way I've been in the past few days, and I'm afraid I'll have to see the doctor and discuss new pills to go on because this isn't working.

It did however give me the excuse to call a college friend cuz she's my font of advice when it comes to meds. So we chatted awhile and it was good to hear her voice.

Despite my unwillingness to do things, I did actually get two things done yesterday. One was hanging the remaining artwork that we still hadn't put up after moving. It took me like 15 minutes to do, so it's pretty bad we didn't get it done before. The other thing was I finished off the last 170 pages of the Harry Potter book I was reading, so that is finally done. I don't think it took me too long to read, by my standards, considering it was 870 pages. I liked it though. It was hard to decide what to read next though, after reading such a long book that's children's fiction. I've settled on a book of short stories by Dave Eggers, something to balance against the length of the Harry Potter, and something I should be able to get through faster.

In other news, I see that the Belle and Sebastian show in Paradiso in May is now sold out, within a week of it going on sale.

And O sent me this today, a summary of a children's book called "Onno, het vrolijke varkentje", which means "Onno, the happy little pig." And yes, Onno happens to be O's name, for those who didn't know and hadn't figured it out. So: hehe. For the ones who can't read Dutch, the summary of the book is:

Onno, the happy little pig, is playful and mischievous. He learns tons from every adventure. Especially about himself and about how to deal with other animals.

The colourful illustrated story shows how exciting Onno's life on the farm is.

Yes, he has a happy little peeg's life on the farm.