Kids

I don't like kids. I won't be having kids. If it were up to me, none of my friends would have kids. Hell, if it were really up to me, no one would have kids. Ah, such peace and quiet. But alas, people carry on and have kids. And some of those people are friends of mine. I've been pretty lucky so far; only one of my friends back home had had a child, and that was easy to deal with because she's far away and now's she's moved to California, so even when I visit Oregon, I won't be seeing her. But now, as of last Friday, friends of mine here became parents. It's weird. It's not right. They're supposed to be looking forward to the next show to go to, not pushing a buggy and changing diapers. It is a loss of sorts since going to see them will never be the same.

Also, my blood pressure rises probably abnormally at the thought of children-y things. I've probably been more stressed out at the news of my friends' baby than they've been. Mostly it's just that if I were in their position I'd be a basket case by now, and then I turn myself into a basket case even though I'm not them. Yeah, I know, I have some anxiety issues. I also worry that I let too much of my dislike and cynicism about having kids leak into my emails and such. I think I've managed to be polite so far. I also try to be calm and see that in the photos so far they look like happy, glowing parents. So, really, I should be happy for them. I wish them all the strength that I wouldn't have in being a parent.